From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
