If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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