So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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