I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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