I am spending my child support on dildos
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize