I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
