Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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