I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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