Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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