North Korea, Best Korea!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
