bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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