yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
