I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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