and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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