Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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