I wish I only lived at night.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
