Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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