'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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