There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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