that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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