we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
