i wish my penis had a tongue
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
