He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
