i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
where am i from again
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
