two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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