so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Everyone says I win the strip club
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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