we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dicks are not precious.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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