would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
