I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize