Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
