i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
