You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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