I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
