i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
