new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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