PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
