you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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