Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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