if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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