I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
