I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
