Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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