Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
