doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
