Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
