the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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