is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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