I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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