Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
