i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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