I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
