WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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