tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
