This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
