I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
