I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
smell my finger.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
