did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
