I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
