Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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