Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
