What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
