it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
