I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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